


Attempted

by Aestheticdenbrough



Series: Oneshots [23]
Category: IT (1990), IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Angst, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, Multi, Suicide Attempt, Teenage Losers Club (IT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 00:59:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16029713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aestheticdenbrough/pseuds/Aestheticdenbrough
Summary: Bill Denbrough's family life is none less than Hell on Earth for him. His brother is dead, his previously kind parents do nothing but argue and shout at him. There comes his breaking point and once it does, he finds who his true family is.





	Attempted

**Author's Note:**

> a request from a dialogue prompt, it’s really intense yikes i apologize i take my frustration out on fictional characters, usually bill denbrough if you can’t tell yet

Another day is another argument in the Denbrough house. Between Bill’s parents that is, if he involves himself he often just ends up getting screamed at. As it happens on this late November afternoon, two years and a month since the tragic and mysterious death of one young Georgie Denbrough. Bill is sixteen, seventeen in a couple months but he’ll always say seventeen now anyways, he definitely acts much older and he is completely aware of this, taking advantage of it constantly.

For now though, he’s sitting on the living room couch with his head in his hands, shoulders quivering as he takes the shouting, he wishes he could say he’s “taking it like a man” but he always resents himself for crying, it makes him feel weak and much too vulnerable.

“Don’t make me walk out of that fucking door, Sharon,” his father yells, a usual threat, but the divorce hasn’t even been properly brought up outside of these yelling matches, though outside of these yelling matches it’s usually just silent.

Bill Denbrough didn’t understand the true damage silence could do until the death of his younger brother. His parents fight with quiet until it bubbles up inside of them and comes out as a scream. The silence is what’s cutting them apart. No more sweet “good morning”s or “sleep well”s, just arguing over whether or not they’re all pulling their own weight. As far the Denbroughs are concerned, their remaining son is dead weight.

He knows he’s dead weight, it’s as if it dawns on him every morning when he wakes up. It’s a feeling of some sort of self hatred. The deprication from others seep into his own feelings about himself, it becomes all too much sometimes and comes out in self destructive bursts of manic energy.

“I’m g-going upstairs,” Bill mumbles out quickly, almost stuttering more than he does, hissing cuss words to himself in frustration at his constantly tangled tongue. He can quote just about anything outside of his own life, but when it comes to speaking aloud to others it comes out jumbled and fumbly.

He goes up to his room, slamming the door aggressively behind him before plopping on his bed backwards with an exasperated sigh. He rubs the hot tears around his face in effort to clear them. It’s the same game every day and it hurts. He’s not sure how to cope anymore, it’s been two years and he doesn’t know what to do with himself, he still has two years before he can properly move out, and he absolutely can’t be caught by the Derry Police trying to run away, the thought is too intimidating even for him.

The thought comes to him, exactly what’s been hanging in the back of his mind all along, though he knows it’s a bad choice. At this point though, he can’t even think about what he’s leaving behind in this, his mind is swarming with the overwhelmed feelings and not letting his thoughts be coherent.

He goes into the bathroom, not expecting to come out. He’d told Eddie that his parents were fighting again, he always warns him of that, it always makes Bill just a little off. He hopes it’ll at least briefly explain his absence from the quarry that night. They’ll just have to do without him.

He gets out a razor he uses on his face, going about it until the sink is red and his head is woozy, ending up on the bathroom floor in a mess, not taking too long to go unconscious, but only unconscious, ‘thank God,’ Eddie will say.

It really doesn’t take too long for Bill’s parents to shut up and leave the house in their own separate ways, leaving Bill upstairs in a situation they’d ever understand. It takes even less time for the losers to realize that Bill isn’t showing up at the quarry. It only takes approximately twenty minutes for Richie to panic about the other teen not answering, sending all the other losers into their own anxious tizzies.

Eventually, it only takes fifteen minutes for them to bike to Bill’s house to see what’s up. Maybe his phone is charging and dead and he’s busy. Or maybe it’s on silent and he’s drawing. They wouldn’t know, though many of them have the sneaking suspicion of what did happen, and the pressure builds up in them too, Mike already visibly crying shamelessly. They always worry about Bill. For Stan it’s a truth of life. Dead people stay dead, and the losers worry about Bill, the world wouldn’t be right without it. He needs them to worry, he’s impulsive and in a tough situation.

The front door is always left unlocked, none of the residents of the Denbrough household seem to care, but it’s helpful for the losers when they come over. Many of them have habits of sneaking over in the middle of the night. When Stan’s OCD gets too bad, he creeps over and rambles and stress clean Bill’s room while Bill sits and listens to him. When the things Eddie’s mother say get too deep under his skin, Eddie goes over to be grounded back to earth, and because Bill gives the best hugs. On the nights that Beverly’s dad gets a little too close, she’ll sneak over in the middle of the night and crawl into bed behind Bill and hold onto him tightly.

They go up the stairs slowly, if he’s just sitting there they don’t want to interrupt him or startle him, but they still do fear the worst. Eddie goes into Bill’s room first but doesn’t see him in bed or at his desk, the bathroom light is on though. He sees the scene in front of him as soon as he walks over there, his hand flying to his mouth. He turns to the others and tries to keep his voice as steady as possible. “Can- can someone call 911?” he asks, his voice shaking exactly as he wishes it wouldn’t.

All of them do end up seeing it, some even going completely silent once they have. Ben sits on the floor next to him, still trying to wake him up on his own but wouldn’t know what to do if he really did succeed.

A calm falls over them once they get to the hospital, Bill laying there on the bed all bandaged up and pale. It’s better than on the bathroom floor. He looks absolutely devastated when he opens his eyes, but softens when he sees who he’s surrounded with. “I’m s-s-sorry,” he says softly.

“No- Bill don’t apologize, we’re sorry too,” Mike whispers softly, reaching his hand for Bill’s running his thumb over the back of Bill’s hand. “We love you. And we’re here for you,” he promises, the rest of them nodding in agreement.


End file.
